Are these 10 beauty commandments real or am I just being humorous? It’s up to you to decide.
Thou shalt not have hair other than on your head and eyebrows
Kim Kardashian (I know, I know, I cite her way too often) is proud of the fact she’s hairless.
“I am Armenian, so of course I am obsessed with laser hair removal! Arms, bikini, legs, underarms… my entire body is hairless,” she told Allure magazine in September, 2010.
Now, that is a dream of mine. I have friends who embrace their hairiness but I’m convinced not having hair will make my body parts look slimmer. I also cannot stand upper-lip hair so I’m constantly tweezing.
But, since I’m part-Indian and am pretty hairy every where, it’s going to take a whole lot of laser hair removal to deal with it.
Thou shalt not use conditioner if it makes your scalp itchy
With short hair, I find it impossible to not get conditioner on my scalp, which leads to bouts of scratching during the day. Now, I just use a leave-in treatment after my shower.
Thou shalt draw your eyeliner at your lash line, not above
My colleague, Phoebe, and I share the same pet hate – women who don’t line their eyes close enough to the lash line. This means we get distracted by that flash of skin every time the person blinks.
It’s really easy to fix – just curl your lashes, lift up your lids when you’re doing eyeliner, and use your brush to go in between the lashes too.
Thou shalt not have tadpole eyebrows
My worse fear is plucking my brows too thin. It’s probably because my mum has been warning me about it ever since I started grooming my brows. I really, really want to tell every one out there: Don’t do the one-line impossibly-high arch thing. I’d rather have bushy, ungroomed brows than look surprised or angry all the time.
Thou shalt not turn blush or bronzer into a weapon
Blush and bronzer are for your cheeks. Maybe dust a little bronzer on your nose bridge and brow bones, but not on your entire face. And, I love a good pink blush, but don’t let it make you look like a hot pink traffic cone.
Thou shalt do the Snooki poof…when thou is in Jersey
You know, Snooki and the Jersey Shore girls weren’t the first to do the poofs – I’ve seen plenty of ah lians in Singapore who favour the high-headed style. Just don’t go too high, okay?
Thou shalt not do Snuffleupagus lashes
You know how you’re standing on a bus and look down at the woman seated in front of you, and all you can see is that strip of thick, fake lashes she has on?
It’s probably the only thing people notice about her when she speaks to them, too. Having incredibly fake lashes as a signature look is not a good idea.
Thou shalt not have limp, two-toned hair
Salon trips are expensive. So how about not colouring your hair some light blonde shade which will grow out terribly?
Thou shalt smell like a toilet(te)
Or more accurately, air freshener. My favourite fragrances seem to have one thing in common -- they smell like clean, fresh toilets, as my friends have remarked. I mean, what’s nicer than a nice toilet, right?
Thou shalt not have long nails
Contrary to popular opinion, these are not conducive for scratching at all, and I’m a compulsive scratcher. Long nails leave unsightly red marks, so no matter how much I want to have pretty, lacquered nails all the time, I will have to stick to scar-free skin.
Do you have your own beauty commandments you think the world should abide by? Leave a comment below.