Men/Sex

Pssst, here's how to have super sex – even if he's not built like a supermodel

So what if your guy isn’t built like swimmer Ryan Lochte? Women tell us how they work around their men’s imperfections, from a pot belly to – yikes! – man boobs
 

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HE HAS MAN BOOBS

Problem: Your eyes are drawn to his “moobs” every time you make love, distracting you from the task at hand.

Try this! “If I’m on top, I rest my hands on his chest so I don’t have to look at this part of his body. And if he’s on top of me, I push my palms against his man boobs. Otherwise, we just go with other positions where I cannot see his chest at all, such as doggy style or the reverse cowgirl, where I’m on top but facing away from him. If I’m too tired to hide his boobs with my hands, I just close my eyes!” – Pamela*

Image: Giphy

HE HAS A POT BELLY

Problem: His stomach overhang slaps against your skin every time you make love missionary or doggy style, or when he’s spooning you from behind. Very unsexy!

Try this! “I like being on top, but my husband can never get a glimpse of what’s happening below because his belly is in his direct line of sight! We’ve worked around this by propping his butt and legs up with pillows, so his lower body is at a 45-degree incline from the bed. Then I get on top. This position is comfortable for me, and, because my body is slightly raised, he gets a bird’s-eye view of the action.” – Julie*

YOUR MAN IS SHORTER THAN YOU

Problem: Your sexual repertoire is limited to horizontal positions.

Try this! “My husband is several centimetres shorter than me, which is no problem if we’re making love lying down, but I like to switch our sexual positions. So when we do it doggy style, he kneels on a pillow so he can enter me easily, and if I want to make love standing up – like if we’re in the shower – I bend my knees a little and tilt my body backwards slightly, resting my shoulders against the wall. This position seems to work well for us and it also gives my hubby direct access to my breasts.” – Angelina*

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HIS PENIS IS LONG AND THIN

Problem: Stabbing pain every time you have sex.

Try this! “The first time my man entered me, it felt like my cervix was being prodded or stabbed. His penis is 18cm long! I used to suffer every time we had missionary sex, but I’ve found that if I straddle him, the sex isn’t as painful because I can control how far his penis goes in. When I can sense that it’s about to hit the back of my vagina, I gently ease it out. I can also control my man’s thrusting speed this way. And I’ve noticed that when I am sufficiently lubricated, the sex is far more comfortable, probably because there is less friction.” – Vera*

READ MORE: True story: ‘I turned to sex work to numb the pain after getting raped’​ and TRUE STORY: "I couldn't have sex with my husband for 8 years"​

HE IS UNFIT

Problem: He gets tired easily and has to stop in the middle of sex. Can you say coitus interruptus?

Try this! “Peter’s* energy level isn’t what it used to be – he can no longer move fast when he thrusts. We’ve solved this problem by spending more time on foreplay. Then, just when we’re about to climax, Peter gets on top of me. There’s very little time before we both orgasm, so he doesn’t have to exert a lot of energy up to that point. We also try to minimise the amount of work he has to do in bed. I don’t mind having to move more, so I sometimes get on top, where I can control the action.” – Leslie*

Image: Giphy

HIS PENIS IS THICK – BUT SHORT 

Problem: Your vagina cannot always accommodate him, but once he’s inside, you don’t feel like it’s “filling you up”.

Try this! “My hubby and I have overcome this by ensuring I’m well lubricated whenever we have sex. This way, he’s able to ease his penis into me instead of trying to shove it in – and cause me a lot of discomfort in the process! As for the sensation of not being filled up, I’ve found that it’s not so noticeable when I am on top. My body weight pushes down on him and that makes me feel that I’m taking in every inch.” – Clara*

Image: Giphy

HE HAS POOR UPPER BODY STRENGTH

Problem: He could suddenly come crashing down on you while attempting more complicated sex positions.

Try this! “I’m a slightly chubby chick and my husband is skinny, so we have to be mindful of what we do in bed – I don’t want him to fall on me and I don’t want to break his bones! So we stick to positions where he doesn’t have to hold himself up with his arms or lift me too much – doggy-style sex is a favourite, and sometimes I straddle him in a chair. He also likes to make love to me from behind, because that position is most relaxing for him. If we do it against a wall, I may lift one of my legs and rest my foot on a chair, so he doesn’t have to hoist me up.” – Kay*

*Names have been changed

GIVE HIM A SEX WORKOUT

Sex is a workout in itself, but these positions will help him (and you!) tone up even more, says Martha Lee, sexologist from Eros Coaching.

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Humpty Rabbit

Squat above your man and use your PC muscles (the ones you squeeze to stop yourself from peeing) to “catch” his penis and clench it tight. Put your hands anywhere on his body for support, before guiding yourself up and down. He may lift his head and contract his stomach muscles – effectively giving his abdomen a solid workout.

Rocking Horse

Sit facing each other on the bed with your legs wrapped around his waist. Then stretch out your arms and hold each other around the wrists or forearms. Take turns pulling each other so you are gently rocking back and forth. As you get more comfortable with this position, your abs will become more toned and you’ll hold the pose for longer.

Laughing Monkeys 

Your man sits upright on the bed while you sit on his lap, facing him. Hold on to his neck with your hands, then lean back and raise your legs in the air. You can also wrap them around his back or rest them on his shoulders for support. Ask him to grab hold of you and manoeuvre you back and forth. More challenging than the Rocking Horse, this will work your arms, stomach and legs. Your man will tone his arms while moving your body, and his legs will become stronger from supporting you.

 

This story was originally published in the December 2012 issue of Her World.

READ MORE: 5 sex signs your relationship is doomed and 7 reasons why sex hurts and what to do about the pain