“WOW, YOU’RE HUGE!”
Why this hits the spot: This one’s a cliche, but we’re not going to knock something that still works in the sack. Every. Single. Time. Says fitness instructor Kevin*, 28: “I love it when my girl tells me how muscular or toned my body is, but what gets me super excited is when she makes a big deal out of my, um, penis length.” Your man not well hung? Just compliment him on his “gorgeous package”.
Why this hits the spot: Moaning says a lot without having to say much at all. “Don’t be silent, especially if you’re having fun,” says writer Kenneth*, 40. “You don’t have to form whole sentences. A simple series of mmms is enough to let a guy know you can’t get enough of him.”
“OMG, YOU ARE SOOOO GOOD!”
Why this hits the spot: Every guy wants feedback on his technique – the positive kind anyway. “Lines such as ‘You’re so good at that!’, ‘Oh, wow, you really know what to do’ and ‘I love the way you move’ get me going every time,” says Lionel*, a 32-year-old game developer.
“DAMN, YOU’RE GETTING ME SO HOT...”
Why this hits the spot: He wants to know how your body is responding. “Is your skin tingling? Are you on the brink of orgasm? Are you so turned on you can’t think straight? Tell me specifically the effect I’m having on you,” shares pilot Ravi*, 40. Shy? A simple “I love having you inside me” will do.
“A LITTLE LOWER, BABY... OH YEAH, THAT’S IT...”
Why this hits the spot: Sex is about the only time men enjoy getting directions. As Kiran*, 31, an engineer, puts it, “don’t just guide my hand or mouth to your erogenous zones; tell me how you’d like me to explore them too. Hearing that you want me go lower, move faster or kiss slower really fuels my lust for you.”
“I’VE GOT TO HAVE YOU RIGHT NOW!”
Why this hits the spot: “Men are rarely told that we are desired, so when we hear things like that, it makes us feel good,” says laboratory technician Christopher*, 42. “If there’s one thing I love to hear when my wife and I are making love, it’s a simple ‘I want you so much’ or ‘You are so sexy’.” Girls, here’s your green light to vocalise your desire, your insatiable hunger, for your man.
“OH, (INSERT HIS NAME HERE)!”
Why this hits the spot: Calling out your man’s name when you’re just about to orgasm will give his ego a boost, says civil servant Stephen*, 35, who shares that he loves to hear his fiancee whisper or scream his name. “It’s amazing knowing that I’m the only thing on her mind when she’s at her most vulnerable.”
“I FANTASISE ABOUT US...”
Why this hits the spot: Men like hearing about your sexual fantasies. Envisaging getting it on in a dressing room? Or doing it against a wall? Don’t spare him the details, and make him the star of your X-rated visions (that means keeping those Adam Levine fantasies to yourself). “Tell me all your hottest sexual urges, no matter how insane, as long as I’m in them,” says sales director Anthony*, 38. “I love it when my girl opens up about something new she wants to try.”
“TELL ME WHAT YOU LIKE”
Why this hits the spot: These five words make him feel special and show that you care about pleasing him too. “It’s nice to know that I can take a back seat sometimes and let her take the initiative,” says Aaron, a 29-year-old hotel executive. “Ask us how you can turn us on or get us off. Something like ‘What can I do to please you tonight?’ is a good start.”
Why this hits the spot: Guys dig it when you talk dirty in bed; letting loose your inner bad girl can make him feel like he’s with a different woman. Almost. “It’s always a surprise to hear my fiancee use foul language during sex because she’s usually so polite and soft-spoken,” says Adam, a 33-year-old engineer. “The F word is music to my ears. And I love it when she uses slang, such as p*ssy and d*ck, to refer to our privates – it drives me absolutely wild!”
WHAT TO NEVER SAY DURING SEX
“Is it in yet?”
If his manhood hasn’t withered, it will after he hears this.
“Forget about the condom”
Unless you’re both trying to have a baby or are using some other form of birth control, this sounds irresponsible.
“Are you finished?”
Have you got somewhere else to go?
“Is that all?”
That’s code for “bad in bed”.
“Do you mind if I check my phone real quick?”
When Pokemon Go eclipses sex, something’s wrong.
*Names have been changed. This story was first published in Her World magazine October 2016 issue.
Want more sex advice? Read our stories How to give the most mind-blowing oral sex to your man without feeling uncomfortable; Are these hidden health problems ruining your sex life? and How to get your man to fulfil your fantasies in bed