Men/Sex

Everything you always wanted to know about orgasms but were afraid to ask

The good, the bad and the noisy ... here’s everything you always wanted to know about orgasms - and how to have one - because every woman deserves to have an orgasm

Your heart rate increases, you get breathless and a big, contented smile starts to form on your face. Yes, orgasms. They feel oh-so-good and keep us coming back for more, no pun intended. Here are seven facts about orgasms, to understand them better – and to give you amazing ones too!

things women need to know about orgasms and sex and how to have an orgasm DECOR

THEY’RE BETTER WITH A STEADY PARTNER
You might be able to reach the Big-O when you have a one-night stand but your chances are much higher with a steady partner. Women in relationships tend to reach orgasm more often than those who have sex with casual flings. This is because your level of anxiety is much lower when you're comfortable with your partner so your mind won't be preoccupied with unnecessary thoughts (“Does my bum look big at this angle?”) and, instead, you'll be concentrating on the task at hand. You're also more open and honest about what you want in bed with a regular partner so you'll be more likely to get there too. 

IT HELPS IF YOU MAKE SOME NOISE 
Don't be shy, go ahead and vocalise your pleasure. You don't have to impersonate a porn star but moaning, groaning, telling your man how much you like what he's doing or simply calling out his name could help you reach the finish line. Making noise during sex arouses both partners so find a sound and volume you're comfortable with and see how it works for you.

THEY GET BETTER WITH AGE
If you're enjoying having orgasms now, we've got good news for you because they're only going to get better. In fact, both the ease and frequency of orgasms get better with age. There's no need for any scientific or medical explanation for this, as it's because women are generally more sexually confident and experienced as they get older. So, once we know what we want when it comes down to our orgasms, we find it much easier to get there, whether by ourselves or with our man. 

YOU CAN HAVE AN ORGASM WHILE EXERCISING
Before you rush out to buy a gym membership, do note that this doesn't happen for all women. A 2012 study found that up to 15 per cent of women could have an orgasm while working out. This has something to do with your abs, as some ab moves actually give you what's known as a 'coregasm'.

NOT ALL ORGASMS ARE CREATED EQUAL 
Forget everything you've seen in the movies, not every orgasm you have is going to be earth-shattering or even scream-worthy. An orgasm is, technically, the release of sexual tension in the body, through the relaxing of the muscles that were tightened during sex. While you may feel these contractions throughout your vagina to your pelvis and even your entire body, sometimes, this release of tension happens so quickly that you might not have even noticed it. There's no such thing as a 'normal' orgasm so stop comparing yours and concentrate on getting there instead.

THEY HELP RELIEVE PAIN
When you reach climax, your body releases a chemical known as oxytocin, which is responsible for you feeling relaxed and emotionally high. That's why you always feel so good and happy after you've had an orgasm. There is also some evidence that orgasms help to relive pain such as headaches so get working on reaching that happy place when your physical or mental health needs a natural pick-me-up. It's also a relaxing way to lull yourself to sleep so try hitting the spot the next time you're experiencing a sleepless night.

IT TAKES TIME TO GET THERE
On average, a woman takes 10 to 20 minutes of stimulation to reach optimal pleasure so don't be concerned if it's not happening quickly for you. Focus on foreplay because the more turned on you get, the more blood flows to your genital area, which is what you need in order to reach climax.

Want some more advice about sex and orgasms? Read our stories 5 best sex positions for female orgasm; Why do some guys give better orgasms than others? and Can you fake an orgasm and get away with it?

Image copyright: yeko / 123RF Stock Photo

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