The five people you meet on Twitter
Call me sad, lonely, or lady-who-will-die-alone-in-an-apartment-of-cats, but I have the best time on Twitter. It is the one platform that allows me to live vicariously through the people I follow without exposing my stalker tendencies (much) - which is always a bonus.
But regardless of the people whose lives we choose to be privy to, I’m almost certain that everyone can relate to having the following types of tweeters invade their Twitter feeds. Some of them we look forward to, some not so much. Read on and tell me if you concur, in 140 characters on Twitter @herworldPLUS, of course:
By far my favourite kind of person (both in virtual and real life), I’m lucky to have friends who think of Twitter as a comedy Open Mic Night of sorts. Always there with a hilarious one-liner or snarky reply, seeing their tweets amidst the sea of emo relationship one-liners never fails to put a smile on my face. And because good friends must share, here are some of my favourite (less offensive) tweets from them:
“My eldest son refused a bite of bacon today. He’s at the MRT station furthest from my house if anyone wants him.”
“Not sure how the naked chef did it, but cooking in the buff is dangerous.”
And one for the Chris Hemsworth fans...
“My eyelids. They are heavier than Mjolnir to an unworthy person.”
They are subjected to ridicule by many for religiously documenting their meals in pictures; but tell me true, how else would the rest of us ever have sudden cravings for anything? How else are the rest of us to know if the food at a restaurant looks the same as in the menu? I say, carry on, my foodie friends! The world may laugh at the thought of you photographing your food, but I applaud your efforts. #omnomnom
LIL’ MISS SUNSHINE
Don’t get me wrong, I like an optimist as much as the next person, but there is a fine line between being grateful for small things and celebrating every little victory life throws your way. I promise you I’m not bitter (ok, may just a little), but not everyone might appreciate having you rub your excessively good fortune in their virtual faces all the time. #stop
Nothing, and I repeat, nothing matters more than this person and what he thinks of himself. Tweets like “A chick just called me God. Real talk.” and “Looking through my Twitter feed and yawning. Why aren’t people funny anymore?” make up the bulk of their musings, and it will take all your willpower (and then some) not to roll your eyes and #unfollow.
MASTER OF THE MUNDANE / T.M.I
I can’t decide which is worse: revealing too much private information about yourself (ie: bowel movements, sexcapades etc), or occupying my Twitter feed with the most mundane observations. Here are a couple of recent examples on my end, you decide which you’d rather do without:
“This man is not using a casing for his iPad.” (Err... okay.)
“My boyfriend has the cutest butt crack. :) [attaches picture of said crack]” (True story.)