1. Reconnect every day
Couples stop asking questions because they think they already know each other, when the fact is, people change. So spend some time every day talking about things other than your normal routine, like the way you did when you first met.
2. Work on your relationship
Pay attention to the details. Small gestures, like offering a back rub or baking his favourite dessert, can go a long way to keeping your relationship alive. Make it fun by planning and creating opportunities for laughter and enjoyment.
Make an effort to validate each other; listen with an open heart and mind, and empathise. This creates a sense that you are both on the same side and that you have each other’s backs.
4. Build intimacy
Prioritise emotional and physical intimacy – hug and check in with each other during the day. Express affection and appreciation often, and go out of your way to do something nice for each other.
5. Make time for sex
If you don't use it, you lose it. The less sex you have, the less inclined you are to establish an intimate connection. So even when things get busy, make sure to schedule time for sex, be it a date night or weekend getaway.
6. Have a sense of partnership
Show that you put the relationship first – whether that means checking with each other before making big purchases or plans with the extended family. Incorporate your partner’s wishes and needs rather than just doing what you want.
7. Fight fair
It’s ok to fight, but what matters is how you fight and resolve the conflict. Even if you disagree, do it in a way that nurtures mutual respect instead of hurting each other’s feelings. Don’t allow conflicts about one issue to affect other aspects of the relationship.
8. Reality check
The crazy infatuation you experience at the start of your romance doesn’t last forever. Falling in love and being in love are very different, so don't put pressure on yourselves to feel the fireworks everyday.
9. See the good
Over time, you might only notice all the things you want to change about your partner. Instead, seek out the things he does that you love – and celebrate that.
10. Don’t have an exit strategy
A perfect marriage is simply a union between two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other. Happy couples are secure in the knowledge that they won’t quit on each other.