Just when you think all of your partner’s secrets will have been outed during your relationship so far, and that tying the knot confirmed he had no secrets from you; think again. Secrets and scandals are a part of everyone’s life and even if you think you and your husband are immune from the scurrilous dramas that affect every other couple, you’d be wrong. Even the most honest men keep secrets. Here are five of the most common secrets guys never tell their wives.
1. Did he love you back then?
Although most chick flicks depict all guys as being hopeless commitment-phobes, in reality it would seem that a lot of men actually announce those three killer words prematurely. Did your man tell you he loved you too soon? If he did, it may not have been because he instantly fell in love with your pretty smile and sharp wit; he may just have said those three little words to get some action in the bedroom.
A study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that men tended to say they loved girls because they thought it would increase their chances of having sex with them. If you are now beginning to doubt your guy’s intentions, don’t bother asking him for the truth unless you have a lie detector machine to hand – he won’t tell you the true reason why he declared his love to you and probably never will.
2. What he really thought of your wedding
Any groom who knows a thing or two about their bride (and who does not have a death wish) will know when it is appropriate to keep their opinions to themselves. During the wedding planning, the groom should know when to offer their ideas and when to keep quiet and just nod along with their bride. But this begs the question; just how many wedding details did the groom secretly hate? Wise husbands will know that breathing a word of these dislikes post-wedding would shatter his wife’s idealistic view of their perfect day, so wisely, these details remain a secret. Well, what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.
3. That he’s depressed
More than five million men in the US are thought to have depression, yet the figure may be higher because many guys don’t talk about their feelings. Studies have found that guys are much less likely to admit to feeling depressed than women. Although studies have not concluded why this is, it may be because some men want to live up to a brave, masculine stereotype, whilst others are unsure who to turn to for help. To help your husband, be aware of the signs that indicate he is depressed. He may be unusually tired, have lost his sex drive or have new health problems like backache, constipation or headaches. There are lots of other symptoms too, but these are some common signs to look for and be aware of.
4. He wants a hug
We all had our suspicions, but now the truth is out; men love to hug. A study undertaken by the Kinsey Institute found that, for men, hugging and kissing were very important to their overall happiness in a relationship. Yet, for women, the study found sexual satisfaction was more important to their happiness within a long-term relationship. So, the next time you see your husband, give him a big squeeze because the chances are, he’s desperate for a cuddle but won’t ever ask for one. What a big softie!
5. What he really tells his friends
Despite making an honest man of your life-long-love, this doesn’t mean he no longer has the need to tell his friends or male colleagues about all the things you two get up to in the bedroom, his latest celebrity fancy or his disgusting male habits. Men take great pleasure in discussing the ins and outs of your intimate, marital activities, as well as the ins and outs of his own bodily functions (it’s true). But alas, you will never know the real truth. Your hopeful ‘what did you boys talk about?’ probe will achieve about as much as asking a child what they did at school that day; ‘can’t remember’. Sorry girls!