Photo: Her World Brides, March 2015.
The confetti has blown away and the wedding decor has been trashed. Now that the wedding is over, the reality of your married life together will start to seep in. Couples who have live together before tying the knot may not find much change in their lifestyles, but for others, the change in their living situation and relationship can be a challenge. Getting married and being in a marriage are two entirely different things and here are some points to help you work out the hiccups that may come your way.
It doesn't mean that when two becomes one, everything has to be shared unconditionally. Finances, property or even house furnishings can be shared, but there are certain belongings, habits and interests that should not, and don't have to be, be shared with your other half.
Every one needs some alone and "me" time and this is no difference in a marriage. It would be good if you can discuss your personal needs and preferences with each other before the wedding so that each of you would understand the extent of each other's personal space. This would allow both of you to develop yourselves personally and in tandem with each other as you evolve together in the marriage.
It sounds simple but when it comes to relationships, being considerate will actually help resolve many, many issues. After some years together, couples tend to take each other for granted and as a result, they can be less caring and considerate. Always ask yourself what you can do to make your other half happier, to make the relationship stronger and to show how much you love and appreciate him/her. It can be small thoughtful actions like saying "I LoveYou' to her every morning before you leave for work, or buying his/her favourite dessert on the way home from the office. You will be surprised how these efforts can build a much stronger, and happier, foundation for your marriage.
Couples who have been married for many decades will often reminisce on how exciting and passionate their courtship years were. Just don't expect the nature and dynamics of your marriage to be the same as your courtship! Time does erase a lot of the excitement, thrill and passion in a relationship and it's up to you to make the effort to keep it going and to keep the love alive. So before you tie the knot, tamper your expectations and be prepared for the up and downs of married life.
Deal with Issues Together
A girl can always stomp home after a fight with her boyfriend, but in a marriage, there's nowhere else to stomp off to - unless its to a locked bedroom. Now that you've decided to commit your lives to each other and to live together, you will also have to deal with your issues and problems together. There has to be an understanding that problems, fights and quarrels have to resolved together as a couple, with both your needs considered. There will be many times when you will have to let go of your ego and selfish needs in order to keep the relationship, and both of you, happy.
Marriage means love, commitment and also a lot of sacrifices. You will have to always remind yourself why you got married in the first place and what you are willing to do to stay married. This may mean sacrificing some of your wants and needs and compromising others. But if the result of these sacrifices and compromises mean that you're happier as a couple, then you've made the right choice.